dream of elves

two elves came shooting down from space like shooting stars
if they are coming, we may find salvation in immortal teachings.

-Liam

minutes, not in order

drained left ring finger 4 ways 10 min. each thumb to outside of 2nd bone
held 2 earth touching mudras for 1,000 breaths each ring and middle fingers
meditated on suffering for 4o minutes,
found you can hold padma mudra on ground in front, behind, and on the sides, held in front for most of that time and imprinted in other directions
meditated on word suffering while holding padma mudras behind my back on ground 7:16-8:17
drained left thumb 10 min, 4 ways, to 2nd bone
drained left thumb, thumb to middle nail 2:59-3:34
DREAM we were being chased by a robot monster, something about competing for apple and microsoft stock. he chased us for $11, I held his ankle and he stopped.
4:06-6:09 middle and index fingers to temples together
drained right hand, middle ring index and thumb, 10 mins 4 ways each, outside of first knuckle.
dream: Jamyang and another teaching ecology and looking at water crystals, 3 billion watching
drained right index, thumb to 2nd joint 4 ways10 min each on outside
feeling of chi in fingers, also feeling like gunpowder escaping
drain crown-thumb to nail of index 5:20-5:51.
dream: travelling between stars, the leader is a girl who sticks to protocol, I keep breaking it worrying that I'm going to be abandoned. we're in a world full of snakes, something is lost. I have to negotiate with the snakes, one has bitten me.
left hand to right hip, right hand to left buttocks 9:28-11:28
drained left middle finger, 4 ways 10 min. each to 2nd bone on outside
dream-kuten lama teaching tai chi
drained left ring 10 min 4 ways each 2nd bone outside
drained left pinky 10 min 4 ways, 2nd bone on outside
dream-a corvette, guy from TV show brown hair getting hair cut. a skateboarder and I'm practicing tennis.
Dream: I'm an orca swimming with dolphins splashing my tail and then jumping. A mario video game, 8 bit but more complicated than mario 1, with mario 2 elements
drained left thumb, 4 ways 10 min each, thumb to 2nd bone on outside
dream-tennis friends showing mudras
touched all finger to every part of body I can reach for all fingers, all knuckles and joints on inside of both hands.
11:41-12:03, drained top of head tumb to tip of pinky-feelings of disgust with pride
touched first joint of pinky to all parts of body
drained left thumb and left index, 4 fingers to nail 1o min each
dream-huge crowd of people, blew Jason with wind from my hand, he had a scared look on his face, I tell him this is a dream, a lucid dream, a faucet, I can move the water with my mind
drain right big toe 10:42-11:09
drained right 2nd toe11:09-11:29
note shambhavi, nithya, tai chi throughout, not written down
dream: my parents and I are lost in the county and we find a house, go in, try to light a candle, they come out and I feel terrible, someone does a yoga asana and asks me about it, and then I'm freaked. they cook us fod and then I'm freaked and I ask Suzy what the fallen angel's name is and she says rubyochio.
-drained left pinky 4 ways 10 min each
thumb to first knuckle on outside
drained left ring 4 ways 10 min each thumb to first knuckle on outside
drained left middle finger 10 min to first knuckle 4 ways
drained crown, right hand thumb to tip of middle finger 10 mins
drained left index 10 min each, thumb to outside of first knuckle 4 ways 10 min each
held left pinky to right nipple 4:06-6:07
drained left thumb index through piny 10 min each
meditated on recognition and regret of lying and wrong views
5:50-6:50 feet together facing bed end corner
7:14-8:15 brahmacharya facing bed end corner, drained right piny 4 ways, 10 min each, tips of fingers, drained right ring finger and right middle fingers 4 ways 10 min each tip of each finger
drained left index 4 finger tips to thumb tips 10 minutes each
left thumb drained 10 minutes, 4 ways tips of fingers
problems-impatience, thoughts of no lasting beneft, distraction
drained right pinky and right ring fingers
thumb to nail 4 fingers 10 minutes each
drained crown thumb to tip of index 10-15 minutes
felt like a tiny grain of sand on a huge beach
drained right index and right thumb, 10 mins 4 ways each to nail
6:33-7:33 half wise man, right foot to perennium left hand, thumb and pinky to nose, other fingers to 3rd eye.
drained right pinky and right ring fingers 4 fingers nail to thumb 10 min. each.
drained left middle finger to nail 4 fingers 10 min each.
torch mudra, right thumb to left ring
11:30-12:30 had to meditate on wish for a cleaner earth, cleaner moooladhara to hold it
reading for 1st yoga assignment and dolphin pose
drained left middle finger tip of each finger to thumb, 10 mins. each.
brahmacharya facing side wall 1 hour, imprinted cosmic mudras and links sitting
when I leaned back I felt a great surg of blissful nectar energy in 2 nd chakra.
as ring spin straightened. It felt like orange nectar. I kept lowering energy trying to get it from the top of my crown and it felt like a different me as energy returned. I need to return to cosmic mudras in other directions because I missed some, namel individual links opposing and entangled. I need to drain finger and a new finger 10 minutes each deay each minger , 40 minutes a day, 12 per finger, or 6 if inside is too hard. works best when motivation is compassion for all, otherwise mudras break.
drained left ring and index tips of finger to thumbs 40 mins each.
full brahmacharya, facing bookshelf corner 1 hour, right hand in front of left on ground, great bliss at heart and visualized myself holding/mastering mudras and asanas
.....
not going to put everything, not enough time.

so I'm writing this out, maybe I can get worksheets together to track progress in time.

news

I've been visualizing much more clearly...
buddhas holding mudras and asanas
I feel these moments of intense joy and bliss from practice and realized I need to transform the habit energies that keep me doing things that lead to painful or unjoyful states of being.
and then I'll keep the joy or bliss with me.
the heaviness in my head is largely linked with the world's heaviness, as depending on what I concentrate on it goes away and comes back when I see and look at the problems of the world and how it relates with my own karma/ic formations.

I fell for a swing dancer, Nora's army, St. Clare.
I'll have to figure out how to find her again.
my minutes will be published again, but I don't have them with me.
I'm looking forward to returning to tai chi and need to keep up the practices.
worried of losing my way, falling downhill...

wish I had pictures of the mudras, to show what I'm doing.
homage to the tai chi masters and yogis, who help me keep my way.

minutes, from hospital

cosmic mudra right foot, hands entangled right hand forward 7:57-9:03
cosmic mudra right foot, hand entangled left forward 2:08-3:36
hold left pinky to third eye 1 hour
hold left ring to third eye 3:45-4:47
meditate on ignorance 4:53-5:49
generosity: wrong and right generosity.
such as generosity towards harmful spirits, offering weapons to harmful is bad
holding onto what you don't need but others need can be relatively harmful
hold left ankle index to index 7:17-9:38
right hand over left hand cosmic mudra right foot end 12:00 guess 1 houe
right hand over left hand cosmic mudra left foot end 2:17, guess 1 hour
left hand over right hand cosmic mudra right foot 4:21-5:58
left hand over right hand cosmic mudra left foot guess 1 hour
drain right mid toe, end 9:25
padma mudra facing board 4:25-5:59 under butt head on ground
leaning back hands on ground 2:05-3:29
left foot cosmic mudra hands entangled left hand forward 12:15-1:16
held neck and confessed 7:25-9:43
shat kriya posture, hands up facing door 2:35-2:45
3 minute headstand on pillow against wall
drain top of head right hand1:57-2:18, thumb to index and middle first knuckle
padma mudra facing corner 12:30-12:50
half celibacy 12:55-1:55
hold base of spine, end 5:56
drain left hand 10:10-11:05
celibacy
3:08-4:42
drain right hand 10:07-11:05
thumb to index and middle

more

5 or six locks, to lock in progress in 5 or six skandhas, left over right and right over left
at each center/chakra, front, backwards, left, right 24 hours.

also... imprint positions of sahaja bandhan and kundalini raising hand positions for 24 hours.
holding head in different ways, top, and behind head 4 ways, up to 24 hours.
hold temples with pinkys, each set of 5 fingers.
read! study! let my mind flow free!

Liam

I spent 12 days maybe in the hospital.
I was able to get a lot of practice in since hospitals are clean.
I cried like a baby when they were giving me a shot.
the meds ain't good though.
whatever merit or energy I gained though, the meds sucked out of me.
AAAHHHH!!!!!

an amazing meditation on lightning, dream, cloud
like from diamond sutra, holding mudras, cute nurses.
thought I'd have something more poetic to say, something more eloquent.
many good things, it's so hard to keep the energy inside myself. I'm attached to bliss,
but can't maintain it.

lam

seeing the void, the great fear of emptiness

If I try... to meditate on "emptiness"
I find it unhelpful, I tend to neglect my instincts and what lies before me. I tend to go so far as to find that the word emptiness implies nihilism.
That a more helpful word, that doesn't contradict karmic causality, and causes and conditions in general, that doesn't ignore intuition and reason...
would be impermanence. impermanence of phenomena. impermanence of feelings. impermanence of relationships. I wager, metaphorically,
that what is so painful to people when they here the word emptiness has nothing to do with it being a difficult philosphical assertion, but that induces in the mind a nihilistic bias that can influence us to negate our responsibilities.

lord of the rings, five rings, five religions

"After several more days during which Francis continued to plead for the sultan's conversion and an end to the fighting--according to a later source he had to fend off the advances of a beautiful whore sent to ensnare him-- the learned doctors reached their unanimous conclusion: al-Kamil must have the friars beheaded immediately. Reflecting on their advice the Sultan recalled that a highly respected Jew, once bidden to pronounce on the relative merits of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, had murmered something about three gold rings which were virtually indistinguishable. He therefore decided that death would be a shabby reward for the friars' good intentions."

- Francis of Assisi, a Revolutionary Life, by Adrian House

This makes me think of the rings of the lord of the rings as five major world religions... and the wars between the humans in the novels as the religious wars such as crusades.
Islam, Christianity, Judaism
Buddhism, and Hinduism

which is the one to bind them? Was one religion almost thrown away once, perhaps symbolically? Like the one ring almost destroyed in the fire? Was it buddhism, who's no self doctrine can be used as a case for slavery, mental slavery the worst kind?

As I study yoga and meditate more I find the emptiness doctrine far too frightening, and the deceptions in religions in general, the hiding scary

more to do

meditate on the words... each word, try to work up to 24 hours, or 10 minutes at this point
light
enlightenment
darkness
suffering

anger
attachment
ignorance
doubt
pride

mooladhara
svadisthana
manipura
anahatta
vishuddhi
ajna
sahasrara

health

ignorance
samskaras/ karmic formations/ action/ karmic imprints
eye consciousness
ear consciousness
nose consciousness
taste consciousness
touch consciousness
craving
grasping
becoming
old age and death

form vairochana
feeling akshobhya
mental formations ratnasambhava
impulses/discriminating awareness amida/amitabha
consciousness dundubhishvara/ avaloketesvara/ chenresig

generosity
patience
effort
morality
concentration
wisdom
love
compassion
equanimity
renunciation
power
skillful means


innocence spontaneity purity creativity knowledge (self) mastery spirity holy collectivity forgiveness

integration
integral

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

earth
water
fire
air
space

the minutes

drained head and ankles holding fist mudra. drained my feet, 3 hours of butterfly.
drained my back, held chalice mudra for 4 hours.
drained my heels for 3 1/2 hours 1/2 hour or so of sun salutation... dream: a star destroyer destroyed by a tiny piece of metal... realize star destroyer is old dying womans breast.
8 hours of cosmic mudra left over right, felt a great amount of light, used negative energy
to destroy my selfishness.
did locks around myself, feel my energy being saved...
made it to 23 or of 108 form at red barn.
chanted a chapter of lotus sutra.
drained top of my head for a while. held reaching, first part of sun salutation for an hour or so.
held willy, trying to subdue at least self love, transcend sex as a goal. A feeling of my head, as a giant penis tip, wholly unpleasant, images of darth vader hat.
Drained my forhead for an hour.
held palms to ground for 8,000 breaths.
shambhavi, held feet together for an hour or so.
Held second knuckle of index finger on top for 4 hours in gazebo.
realized dead are more appreciated than living.
feel inspired to work on basic asanas from desikichar's book.
sat in half wise woman for an hour or so toward two of four directions.
heel tapped, realized there are 35 such mudras.
14 egolessness, holding thumb and thumb in fist, and then holding other thumb to a long finger.
holding all of them for 1,000 breaths each, feel a passionate bliss at base of spine.
leaning back, holding hands to the ground... helps to realized perfection of effort.
vajrasattva sadhana in arboretum, lit incense and said it facing 8 directions (only made it to 6 or 7). felt crown strongly, where ushnisha is. then did a shoulderstand in 8 directions for about 200 or 250 breaths each.
tai chi in park, held 1, 2, and 3 of form for a while, about 1,000 breaths.
held back, had feeling of brain as giant toomer.
held chalice mudra right over left (8 hours?)
held armpits for 4 hours crossways.
a beautiful voice guided me through wishes meditation... a feeling of leaping from hell to home.
sat in celibacy pose left foot to right thigh for 2 and 1/2 hours, had to massage left buttocks because it would hurt so much.
held right hand to left hip and left hand to right buttocks from 2:48-7 AM. Gross bliss from it subsided into a more subtle bliss eventually. I feel much calmer.
drained calfs for a little while.
Held Angali mudra from 8PM until 2:30 AM... felt spinal connections popping and a web at my heart.
Like a jewel was being stolen by fisherman.

held celibacy from 11:48-1:58, right foot to left inner thigh
drain nose, right hand, thumb to tip of index finger, 9:14-9:35. feel clearer sinuses.
between tips of index and middle fingers 9:43-10
between tips of middle fingers and thumb 10:05-10:23
right middle finger up butt 8:20-1:01
1292 breaths leaning back with hands on ground across from google.
chanted at kirtan, held cosmic mudra at different energy levels.
right pinky to right butt cheek 6:04-9:29
drain nose, right hand tip of thumb to middle finger tip
right hand 9:31-9:58
had a dream with penguins launched out of cannons (eek)
hands on ground lying on back, feeling of chi in hands 10:23-11:34
chalice mudra 11:40AM-3PM hands entangled right hand forward
left pinky to left butt cheek 4:40 am-7:19 am
drain nose, thumb between tip of middle and ring fingers... end 12:43
idea comes... a worksheet for all asanas and mudras, and their combinations, in 8 directions
with 15, 30 and 1 hour with date, up to 24 hours, a description of experience when completed,
an outline for completing a school for young yogis.

pinkys to soles 5:04-5:44
pinkys to ankles on outside 5:46-6:03
pinkys to inside of ankles 6:03-6:13
pinkys to nob of foot 6:14-6:20
pinkys to calfs 6:21-6:34
pinkys to quads 6:35-6:37
pinkys to hamstring 6:37-6:39
right pinky to kundalini 6:37-6:39
left pinky to kundalini 7:05-7:08
prayer mudra at floor 7:21-7:36
other way 7:38-7:54
right index up butt 8:29-11:12
right thumb up butt 5:26-7:00
drain nose, ring finger to thumb 9:54-10:17
right ring finger to third eye 11:42-12:43
hold ankle, right ankle all fingers touching 1:34-3:58
holding right food in cosmic mudra 3:59-4:22
chalice mudra, hands entangled left hand forward 4:48-8:48
left pinky up butt 9:32-...? 12?
draining nose
hold left ankle, all fingers touching 11:50-12:47
right foot cosmic mudra, left over right
3:59-4:04
padma mudra on ground, 3,000 breaths, 5:50-6:51
hold right middle finger to third eye 5:50-6:51
drain nose, right ring finger 6:16-6:50
left ring finger up butt 6:54-???
11:12:34 basic chi practices.
padma mudra facing kitchen 1:21-2:22
hold index finger to third eye 2:51-3:52
wrapped house in shields by tai chi walking holding wrists
padma mudra facing gazebo 7:20-8:21
imprinted links and dhatus facing 4 directions on rug.
left middle finger up butt 11:13-2:40
drain nose, right ring finger and pinky tips together 10:48-11
tingling at base of spine.

(A strong sense I have incubus/sucubus stealing all my energy and life force.
whoever you are leave me now, and give back all you have stolen)

Plan concentrate on each combination of 2 letters, try samadhi on it.... AA AB AC... ZZ
padma mudra facing parents room 1:55-2:56
hold right thumb to third eye 2:59-4:00

Held bodhisattva/easy posture, left foot under right thigh until 1:30
imagined people mastering all the mudras and asanas.

pitch for Tai chi, and Wu-Style Ann Arbor

I started out studying Tai Chi at Jewel Heart. I felt such incredible waves of blissful energy
from it!!! Eventually, I ended up at the center on Liberty and Maple and met great teachers there.
Sifu Steve is the man. He's completed the 108 form and understands its profound meaning. If you ask him for help, he'll help you realize how 'it's all right here' and the form can be mastered through his help much faster than you ever would be able to on your own. Sifu Georgia is much the same. She's been through the form and knows its profound meaning. She's extremely present and talented at working with the needs of individuals. Sifu Genie has been through the form as well. She's very alert and present, overall a great teacher. They teach the perfections of qigong forms and it helps one to cultivate the qi to master the tai chi. They are extremely present to the individuals and help with individual needs. They seem to know exactly what you think you need, know how to help you achieve it, but also see what you need deeper down, that you only barely know and lead you to achieving that as well.

wustyle-annarbor.com

One day I ended up feeling like I was dying in front of either a chemical factory, a nuclear reactor, or a hydrogen fusion testing ground somewhere on my trek. I ended up having to drain my back and having to hold fish posture for a long time... It felt like 3 days or 3 hours, I don't know. I did some qigong forms for a long time too, and I could swear Brian Greene walked by me, with a friend. As I walked up, I did my candle meditation from a Diane Stein book, only while walking.
Something happened, the fire went blue, I'm not sure what it meant. It could have been a nuclear silo. When I drained my back, I felt a lot of negative energy and spirits drain out of me.

I got stuck on the trip at Elm St. looking for a Perry Ln. in Westphallia. I'm not quite sure if the town was a ghost town or not, because it seemed so desolate, they said there was no gas station.
I saw a huge flock of birds flow onto a power line and then go off. One died, killed itself. The others wanted to, but the pain was too bad I think. I ended up exhausted in front of a hospital looking for Perry Ln. off another Elm St. But... I ended up trying to drain my head, my nose at first, someone called the police on me, the family from Westphallia found me, and my parents drove me home. I had called them for either bus fare or motel fare as I was walking because I felt like I was dying, but it's such a waste because the point of walking was to try and pave a walking trend to counteract global warming. Now, I stopped into a hospital to try and make a call, but the place freaked me out, the treatments and the feeling there... it feels like Western medicine is a form of soul sucking in disguise.

I moved back to Delonis, work implies your purifying something wrong you've done, more looking for a calm place to practice and kind teachers to help me.

-Liam

misadventure.... wish I was a better writer to tell the story.

I was looking for a Perry Lane on my walk off of an Elm Street.
I was so tired, it felt like my brain was hemmorhaging I was burning up so badly.
I had to walk from Westphallia to Fostoria and ended up soaking my feet on the way.
All the pain in my feet went away. I ran into Jackson, my friend from College, only
he was in High School, like I time travelled or hallucinated there.
I slept in a church lot one night and felt so exhausted but then did shambhavi, qigong, and sun salutations. I had this weird feeling that I wouldn't see the sunrise if I didn't do sun salutations.
amazing sunrise actually. I didn't make it to Dayton or NC. I was almost arrested some 3 or 5 times. I didn't do anything I regret though.
I was holding the mudras on my fingers, the links and dhatus, and had this crazy feeling
that every time I walked through a dangerous area, I was OK, because I was holding the sign that
area had. Like masonism, but the links of dependent origination. I was feeling like
I was John Conner from T2 running and attracting 2 much attention.

I'm walking to Raleigh, when I get tired I take breaks at churches. After walking 20 or 25 miles I took a nap, and a policeman came, I had to go to a hotel that night.
holding mudras along the way.
I talked to a priest who had degrees in science about ecology.
I overcame some negativity about ecological collapse, at least some panickyness
when I realized the US, although humans consume 10 times the earth's carrying capacity,
since we have fewer people on an amount of land equivalent to china,
we may in relation to the land here, consume more like 1.5-3 times a sustainable rate of earth's
resources. solar and wind seem so essential to making an impact in cutting pollution emissions
and cutting resource use to sustainable levels, eating local, organic, vegetarian food as well.
I'm hearing holding ankles is 8 mundane concerns,
holding wrists are the 8 superficial. The 8 mundane sound like the basic needs from elementary school. Going to walk nights and spend days in churches and libraries.

wish me luck.

plan for path

each finger up the butt for 24 hours. hands on 3 aspects of three chakras for 24 hours each, on body.
draining with 35 mudras on heels, middle of feet, joints, chakras for 24 hours each.
no benefits with repetitions, working up to that time.
leaning back to straighten out spine.
and holding earth touching mudras for 24 hours.
angali, wishfulfilling jewel holding mudras at all chakras for 24 hours each.
telephone at ear for 24 both ways
all the sun salutation, moon salutation postures for 24 hours each 8 directions
hold wrists with each finger and each combination of 2 for 24 hours each
5 or 6 locks for front and back of each chakra for 24 hours each.
i wonder what happens if you hold your ankles?
there are more asanas and mudras I see sometimes, but keep overfl
sit in half wise man and half wise woman in the 8 directions for 24 hours each. and full 8/24
then sit in bodhisattva/easy sitting posture in the 8 directions for 24 hours each.
sit in both celibacy postures for 24 hours in the 8 directions for 24 hours each.
sit in both half lotus towards the eight directions for 24 hours each.
sit in both full lotus toward 8 directions for 24 hours each.

hold all cosmic mudras (4) at each of 7 chakra centers for 24 hours.
hold the 48 aspects (start at one or two chakra centers)
hold all the links and dhatu mudras on hands for 24 hours
hold all the 108 form positions in the 8 directions for 24 hours each
hold feet together like butterfly for 24 hours in eight directions.
shoulderstands 8/24
headstands 8/24

I'll start out with prayer mudras
I have the 14 egolessnesses mudras above head
the two lotus mudras at all 7 centers for 24 hours.

shat kriya posture 8/24
2 or 3 zen postures 8/24

give me an assignment and/or some advice. Please pray for me to get all of this completed within 20 lifetimes maybe, or 100.
I'm goint to do vajrasattva and shoulderstands in the cemetery again.

I want to memorize the lotus sutra, write it out, etc.
I want to finish the 8 thousand verse perfection of wisdom, and maybe move on to longer versions.
I want to master geshe kelsang gyatso's books. I want to meditate on all the new and original meditation handbook meditations
in single pointed samadhi for 24 hours each.

a looks like an apple
b looks like a rick

do the greco romans have sex on their mind?