more

5 or six locks, to lock in progress in 5 or six skandhas, left over right and right over left
at each center/chakra, front, backwards, left, right 24 hours.

also... imprint positions of sahaja bandhan and kundalini raising hand positions for 24 hours.
holding head in different ways, top, and behind head 4 ways, up to 24 hours.
hold temples with pinkys, each set of 5 fingers.
read! study! let my mind flow free!

Liam

I spent 12 days maybe in the hospital.
I was able to get a lot of practice in since hospitals are clean.
I cried like a baby when they were giving me a shot.
the meds ain't good though.
whatever merit or energy I gained though, the meds sucked out of me.
AAAHHHH!!!!!

an amazing meditation on lightning, dream, cloud
like from diamond sutra, holding mudras, cute nurses.
thought I'd have something more poetic to say, something more eloquent.
many good things, it's so hard to keep the energy inside myself. I'm attached to bliss,
but can't maintain it.

lam

seeing the void, the great fear of emptiness

If I try... to meditate on "emptiness"
I find it unhelpful, I tend to neglect my instincts and what lies before me. I tend to go so far as to find that the word emptiness implies nihilism.
That a more helpful word, that doesn't contradict karmic causality, and causes and conditions in general, that doesn't ignore intuition and reason...
would be impermanence. impermanence of phenomena. impermanence of feelings. impermanence of relationships. I wager, metaphorically,
that what is so painful to people when they here the word emptiness has nothing to do with it being a difficult philosphical assertion, but that induces in the mind a nihilistic bias that can influence us to negate our responsibilities.

lord of the rings, five rings, five religions

"After several more days during which Francis continued to plead for the sultan's conversion and an end to the fighting--according to a later source he had to fend off the advances of a beautiful whore sent to ensnare him-- the learned doctors reached their unanimous conclusion: al-Kamil must have the friars beheaded immediately. Reflecting on their advice the Sultan recalled that a highly respected Jew, once bidden to pronounce on the relative merits of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, had murmered something about three gold rings which were virtually indistinguishable. He therefore decided that death would be a shabby reward for the friars' good intentions."

- Francis of Assisi, a Revolutionary Life, by Adrian House

This makes me think of the rings of the lord of the rings as five major world religions... and the wars between the humans in the novels as the religious wars such as crusades.
Islam, Christianity, Judaism
Buddhism, and Hinduism

which is the one to bind them? Was one religion almost thrown away once, perhaps symbolically? Like the one ring almost destroyed in the fire? Was it buddhism, who's no self doctrine can be used as a case for slavery, mental slavery the worst kind?

As I study yoga and meditate more I find the emptiness doctrine far too frightening, and the deceptions in religions in general, the hiding scary

more to do

meditate on the words... each word, try to work up to 24 hours, or 10 minutes at this point
light
enlightenment
darkness
suffering

anger
attachment
ignorance
doubt
pride

mooladhara
svadisthana
manipura
anahatta
vishuddhi
ajna
sahasrara

health

ignorance
samskaras/ karmic formations/ action/ karmic imprints
eye consciousness
ear consciousness
nose consciousness
taste consciousness
touch consciousness
craving
grasping
becoming
old age and death

form vairochana
feeling akshobhya
mental formations ratnasambhava
impulses/discriminating awareness amida/amitabha
consciousness dundubhishvara/ avaloketesvara/ chenresig

generosity
patience
effort
morality
concentration
wisdom
love
compassion
equanimity
renunciation
power
skillful means


innocence spontaneity purity creativity knowledge (self) mastery spirity holy collectivity forgiveness

integration
integral

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

earth
water
fire
air
space