Nichelle and the heart sutra

I got a bus ticket to visit Nichelle in Bloomington on Wednesday. I love Nichelle. She says she loves me. We went to the same high school and middle school but didn't know each other. She was friends with Jason and I met her one day when we were both hanging out with Jason. I learned from Jewel Heart email that the Dalai Lama was going to teach in Bloomington one day. It was really strange and coincidental timing. Gehlek Rinpoche had told me that if I disparaged my guru I would go to hell for aeons. Up to that point, I had thought Jewel Heart was different than DGTL where they had also threatened me with eternities in hell if I did the tiniest thing wrong. I like the teachings in Buddhism of loving everyone equally including animals, of taking the suffering of others upon myself and offering away my happiness. I love feeling the blissfulness of meditation. So when I hear things about hell, my tendency is to hold on to the things that Buddhism offers that I like, but not believe in these thoughts about hell. But it really go to me. It led me to do perhaps the craziest thing I have ever done. I wrote out the heart sutra in my blood. I cut my hands and used a paint brush. I changed one thing. The heart sutra says there is no form, no feeling, etc. When the dalai lama taught in Ann Arbor he was teaching how what is meant by that was that there is no inherently existing form, feeling, or any other aggregate. so I wrote [inherently existing] in brackets. It was strange that the Dalai Lama had taught in Ann Arbor when he did. I had told Ujjen right before that, that I wished the Dalai Lama would teach in Ann Arbor in front of a huge crowd because I heard that anyone who saw the dalai lama in person would not be reborn in the lower realms. Well after I wrote out the heart sutra in my blood I put it in front of a picture of the dalai lama at jewel heart and then I got the email that the dalai lama was teaching about the heart sutra in Bloomington. Nichelle picked me up from the greyhound station in Indianapolis and we did some chigong and tai chi together and hung out at a coffee shop. After that we talked on the phone for a long time over the next couple years. I've been trying to date her since I got back from California. She visited me in Ann Arbor and I tried to share my spiritual teachers with her, taking her to see Sondra at Sun Moon yoga and Steve at Wu-style Ann Arbor (tai chi). We sometimes say some deep words of commitment to each other, but it is hard living in different cities. I wish I could live with her. I have told her I would move to Bloomington and she has said she would move to Ann Arbor. We have talked about going to California in March. Hmmm...