My time in California so Far

I've been in California for a while.  When I asked Steve what I should do this year that I'm in California, he said do the form, meditate, and then some other things that I don't remember.  I have been doing the form at sunset.  Some days it is too hot to be comfortable doing it during the day.  I have been doing some meditation at night too.  Mainly I have been focusing on the great compassion meditation and the equalizing self and others meditation from The Meditation Handbook by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.  I don't always feel spiritual energy when I do the practice, but at the very least the practice is positive thinking, a positive thing to concentrate upon.  I have been dreaming most nights which I look forward to when I go to bed.  I visited Nils one weekend.  We went to some conference about how to meet your soul mate.  And then we went to a hot springs where there were many beautiful people.  Everyone was nude there.  I had this intense experience when I was meditating one day at Nils's of blissful love at the base of my spine.  The meditation was enjoyable.  I have a copy of the Bhagavad Gita that Deva Madhava Das gave me.  I had a couple experiences of this blissful nectar energy when I was reading it.  But, I am certainly frightened of Krishna now.  The energy was what I needed to feel to not overreact and get completely frightened of Krishna.  Krishna said in one verse that he will devour everyone.  The explanation was that the universe will dissolve back into him.  I guess that makes sense, but using the word devour is kind of like treating everyone like food.  Another verse said that those who go to Krishna's spiritual realm will never return here.  I think what is meant by here, is the planet earth.  It is so strange that I have these intense spiritual experiences when I am reading things that would otherwise disturb me so much.  I don't know if the experiences came from simply reading the gita, chanting the hare krishna mantra, or maybe it is because I had left a message for Sondra that I wanted to receive her best blessing.  Maybe that was her best blessing.  I have been staring at the stars a lot of nights, lying on my back.  One night I remember seeing this light moving across the sky, and I asked it out loud, who are you, what are you?  then it got extremely bright for just a second and then became too dim to see.  That same night I saw another light moving across the sky on a night without clouds, and then I heard a crash like thunder and for a second the whole sky seemed white.  I like concentrating on one star at a time, and then seeing how it seems to move.  I haven't been doing as much art as I would have liked.  John got angry at me one day.  He had told me he didn't think he could be my art teacher or that he was trained as an artist.  He thought I could get into art school.  But in any case, he broke up with me as my art teacher.  I ended up crying about it and when I did I felt this intense blissful spirit on the crown of my head.  I don't know who it was.  John gave me a book with drawing exercises and I have been letting the book train me.  It is lonely in california.  If anyone wants to call me, feel free.  I love having people to talk to.